You Might Be a Redneck -

I could give Jeff Foxworthy a run for his money I believe. My favorite redneck event in my life so far was my bridal registry when I got married 22 years ago. The invitations to my tea said that I was registered at Jackson's Hardware! Honest Injun! In Brundidge, Jackson's Hardware is a hardware store on one side and a gift shop on the other. You can't make this stuff up. Now on to my new favorite redneck event in my life. I was working hard last night trying to sand the drywall in my kitchen. I started out trying to use a pole with a sanding head on it. Obviously I am lacking some type of hand-eye coordination gene because I could not get that thing to work right. I finally had to put it down before I shoved it through either my new door or new window and lost my religion completely. After a couple of calls to my best friend's son (who assured me he was not laughing at me, just the situation), I started back to work with a sanding sponge. (Did you know you weren't supposed to wet a sanding sponge? Luckily I found that out BEFORE I tried it.) I sanded for a couple of hours but it was hot and dusty and made the flab on my upper arms hurt. (I am SUCH a girl!) The only thing I could think of that would wash all that dust away was a certain beverage that my brother keeps in the refrigerator in his barn across the road from me. I was covered in dust so I just took off my shirt, slipped on my fuzzy pink bathrobe and walked across the road. So, Jeff Foxworthy, if you've ever walked across the road in jeans and a fuzzy pink bathrobe to get a beer out of the refrigerator in a barn, you might be a redneck! Heaven knows I am!