Being Divorced Hits Home

I had a flat tire this morning. Not really earth shattering news but you know me - there's a story!

I noticed yesterday evening that my tire was low. Logically I should have gone to the gas station and aired it up then but I didn't. I thought it had enough air in it to make it to work this morning and one of the guys would plug it for me (Hey Travis!). This morning I saw that it was too low to drive on so somebody was going to have to change it. In the old days, I would have gone back in the house and told my husband it needed changing, but this isn't the old days anymore. I thought about who I could call but decided I could do this myself.

After unloading all the crap I tend to carry in the trunk of my car at any given time, I got the spare and the jack out of the trunk but couldn't find the lug wrench or the little thing to make the jack go up (I don't know what it's called!). I went inside and called one of my bosses to get him to bring me a lug wrench and a thingy and he told me he would be over after he dropped his son off at school. So, I go back outside and pick up some big piece of particle board looking stuff that goes in my trunk and there the two tools are on the back of it. So, I go back inside to call my boss and tell him I found them. Then I go back outside to change the tire.

The tire changing itself went relatively smooth. I got the car jacked up and the flat off with little trouble. Putting the spare on was another thing. The car wasn't high enough to get the spare on so I jacked it up some. Then it was too high and since I'm kind of lazy and didn't want to lift the spare up even an inch, I let the car down some. Too much. So I jacked it back up again. I still had to lift the spare but I finally got it on.

All of that seems rather boring so here I'll give you the fun details. I had already taken my hair out of my curlers but had not fixed it before I went out to change the tire so I had these big sausage curls all over my head. Of course the early morning dampness took care of them in short order and I ened up with my hair pulled back in a clip for work. I leaned forward too far one time and hit my already made-up nose on the tire so I had a black smudge on it. My hands of course were covered in black stuff and I was having an OCD attack thinking about all the filth that tire had run over. But the best part - THE BEST PART - was that I still had on my pink jammies and my fuzzy pink house shoes while I was changing the tire!

Get a mental picture now: Hair hanging down around my face in fat droopy curls, smudge on the nose, hands covered in black gunk, me on my knees beside my car wearing pink pajamas and house shoes trying to wrestle a spare tire onto my car. I'm telling you, life just doesn't get more glamorous than this!

So today, the full realization that I am truly divorced hit me in the nose worse than that tire did. Would I change my status to go back to where I was this time last year? Not on your life. Would I choose to live next door to a man that's handy with a jack instead of out in the sticks? You betcha!

You Might Be a Redneck -

I could give Jeff Foxworthy a run for his money I believe. My favorite redneck event in my life so far was my bridal registry when I got married 22 years ago. The invitations to my tea said that I was registered at Jackson's Hardware! Honest Injun! In Brundidge, Jackson's Hardware is a hardware store on one side and a gift shop on the other. You can't make this stuff up. Now on to my new favorite redneck event in my life. I was working hard last night trying to sand the drywall in my kitchen. I started out trying to use a pole with a sanding head on it. Obviously I am lacking some type of hand-eye coordination gene because I could not get that thing to work right. I finally had to put it down before I shoved it through either my new door or new window and lost my religion completely. After a couple of calls to my best friend's son (who assured me he was not laughing at me, just the situation), I started back to work with a sanding sponge. (Did you know you weren't supposed to wet a sanding sponge? Luckily I found that out BEFORE I tried it.) I sanded for a couple of hours but it was hot and dusty and made the flab on my upper arms hurt. (I am SUCH a girl!) The only thing I could think of that would wash all that dust away was a certain beverage that my brother keeps in the refrigerator in his barn across the road from me. I was covered in dust so I just took off my shirt, slipped on my fuzzy pink bathrobe and walked across the road. So, Jeff Foxworthy, if you've ever walked across the road in jeans and a fuzzy pink bathrobe to get a beer out of the refrigerator in a barn, you might be a redneck! Heaven knows I am!

"YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT AFTER ALL"

That is the last line of the theme song for the Mary Tyler Moore Show. While I'm not about to go out into the street and throw my tam (who wears a tam anymore?) into the air, I can truly understand the feeling she had when she did that. Times have been hard for this old DW here lately. I'm fortunate to still have my job, but two different pay cuts have left me struggling to stay afloat financially. This morning I found out the debt consolidation my ex and I had was paid off! Do you hear what I'm saying??! That equals an $800 a month raise for me. I have never felt such a sense of relief in my life! I knew it was getting close to paying out but had no idea when it would until I got an email notice this morning that they were stopping my auto debit from my checking account. And, not only did they stop it, they had collected about $300.00 too much and are going to send me a check for it. That totals and extra $1100 dollars for this month!(just in case you couldn't add for yourself!)
The burdens lifted, the clouds parted and for a few minutes I looked like a Disney character, floating down the hall with birds and butterflies and furry little forest creatures dancing around with me. Ok, that may be a bit much but you get the general idea don't you? When there just seems to be no earthly way possible, there may not ever be. But there is always a heavenly way possible and I just want to take this opportunity to say, "Thanks Big Guy. I owe you one." (I actually owe Him very many but He knows what I mean!)