It's easy to make our plans and see where everything will come out okay and we'll all live happily ever after but then - life happens. While making the decision to leave what had been my home for so long and strike out on my own again I looked at all the positives, or at least what I thought were positives.
1. I have a good job. My job, I felt at the time, was relatively secure. The head bookkeeper would be leaving, I would take over all bookkeeping responsibilities, get a raise and live happily ever after, but then - life happened. Not only did I not get a raise, I took a 10% pay cut to be followed by another 10% cut 6 months after that. Money became an issue.
2. The house I was moving back into, that I grew up in, would be fixed up in a matter of just a few short days and I could spend my time decorating and covering things with a fresh coat of paint, but then - life happened. There was far more damage than anticipated, the remodel took months instead of days and is just now approaching completion (5 months later), and paint will not fix everything.
3. I had a good grasp of my emotions and my mental health seemed fine, but then - life happened. As all the other things in my life seemed to be collapsing around my head, I noticed that I cried like a girl over little things all the time. What could possibly be wrong with me? I'm only 46 years old and - oh no. Surely Mother Nature wouldn't do this to me now! But yes, judging from the increase in hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings, Mother Nature is exercising her authority and ushering me into another phase of womanhood fondly referred to by those who haven't gone through it as menopause. Believe me THIS is the curse of Eve - not that little monthly visitor all women get. To quote a line from a movie, "I will go insane and I plan to take you with me!"
I don't guess I planned for life to happen to me when I made my plans. Would I go back and change my decision if I could if I had known all of this? Probably not. Because while money is tight, the house isn't finished and I'm losing my mind there are still some positives.
1. I can still afford to buy brownie mix, ice cream and hot fudge sauce.
2. My freezer, refrigerator and stove all work and I can use them to store my ice cream and hot fudge sauce and bake my brownies.
3. Even though I may be crying like a girl, I can sit in my living room with my pajamas on, mascara running down my cheeks, eating the above mentioned brownies, ice cream and hot fudge sauce and no one will ever know! And THAT my friend, is living!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Time Flies
I can't believe it's already been a week since I last posted! Work has progressed nicely on the house but still not finished. Hopefully soon though.
While my sister was here from Texas she bought me a new-to-me love seat. Of course when we got it home we had to put it in the house right away. But what could we do with the old one? Since I live in the country and since my family has a little dose of red-neckedness in them, we did what any red-blooded Southern girls would do and sat it in the front yard. (Actually my brother-in-law and I sat it in the yard. Sis supervised us.) Heck, after it got rained on a couple of times it looked better than it had in a while! It only sat there for a few days though. When I came home from work yesterday, my brother had loaded it into his truck. I asked him was he taking my love seat and his reply was "Yes. Nothing says redneck like a couch in the front yard." I think we should put that on a t-shirt and sell it.
While my sister was here from Texas she bought me a new-to-me love seat. Of course when we got it home we had to put it in the house right away. But what could we do with the old one? Since I live in the country and since my family has a little dose of red-neckedness in them, we did what any red-blooded Southern girls would do and sat it in the front yard. (Actually my brother-in-law and I sat it in the yard. Sis supervised us.) Heck, after it got rained on a couple of times it looked better than it had in a while! It only sat there for a few days though. When I came home from work yesterday, my brother had loaded it into his truck. I asked him was he taking my love seat and his reply was "Yes. Nothing says redneck like a couch in the front yard." I think we should put that on a t-shirt and sell it.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
What???
You might ask what all my previous posts have to do with the title of this blog. You never realize how truly alone you are until you need someone else's help. I thought being on my own would be a breeze. I'm pretty independent and self-sufficient so living by myself would be a snap. Then you realize the house needs work, you need a gas tank installed for heat, you need heaters installed for heat because you gave away the heaters that were in the house when you moved in because you weren't thinking clearly and a whole host of other things. I think this is what they call when realization sets in. I don't know if it's easier for men to be alone than it is women but at some point for both of them, realization does set in.
I've always despised having to ask anyone for help. I never mind giving other people help but I don't like to be on the receiving end. I believe it's a pride thing. My Daddy was like that. He would help anyone, anytime but never wanted help for himself. Being divorced is somewhat of a humbling experience. I've been humbled because I've had to ask for and accept help from friends and family. But I've learned something too. In the past when I've helped other people and they have thanked me, I would always tell them it was no big deal. I was happy to do it. And they would always try to express to me what it meant to them. I don't think I really ever understood what it meant to the one recieving the help until now.
What do people do who don't have a big brother or big sister and brother-in-law to help them out? What do people do who don't have a church family to help them out? What do people do who like to consider themselves loners without friends to help them out? This is such a strange place I'm at in my life right now. I'm used to being the one who takes care of everybody else and now I'm the one being taken care of. As I said, it's a humbling experience. No one can go through life without help from someone at some point. We all need somebody, whether we like to admit it or not. Even if you just write a little blog about your life or eperiences, you need someone to read it. So, to all those people I need - my children, my siblings, my church family, my friends, all the people I love - I want to tell you how much I love you and appreciate everything you've already done for me. And I'm always here if you ever need any help.
I've always despised having to ask anyone for help. I never mind giving other people help but I don't like to be on the receiving end. I believe it's a pride thing. My Daddy was like that. He would help anyone, anytime but never wanted help for himself. Being divorced is somewhat of a humbling experience. I've been humbled because I've had to ask for and accept help from friends and family. But I've learned something too. In the past when I've helped other people and they have thanked me, I would always tell them it was no big deal. I was happy to do it. And they would always try to express to me what it meant to them. I don't think I really ever understood what it meant to the one recieving the help until now.
What do people do who don't have a big brother or big sister and brother-in-law to help them out? What do people do who don't have a church family to help them out? What do people do who like to consider themselves loners without friends to help them out? This is such a strange place I'm at in my life right now. I'm used to being the one who takes care of everybody else and now I'm the one being taken care of. As I said, it's a humbling experience. No one can go through life without help from someone at some point. We all need somebody, whether we like to admit it or not. Even if you just write a little blog about your life or eperiences, you need someone to read it. So, to all those people I need - my children, my siblings, my church family, my friends, all the people I love - I want to tell you how much I love you and appreciate everything you've already done for me. And I'm always here if you ever need any help.
Home Improvement 102 (or 201?)
Wonderful news! To all of my followers (all 3 of you!), work is progressing nicely on my kitchen! Of course the damage was worse than what we hoped for but I haven't freaked out one single time! Not when I had to spend the night with no floor in the back part of my kitchen, which wouldn't be bad anyway except my brother found some sort of big critter hole that was dug underneath my utility room. He thinks it may be a wolverine. (A wolverine? Do we have wolverines in Maplesville, AL?) And not when I had to spend the night with no outside wall, just a sheet of plastic. And not even when I spent what I consider way too much on my new back door and storm door. (Notice to all firefighters in my area: If you are called to a house fire at my home - SAVE THOSE NEW DOORS!)
The trip to pick up the doors is a story all its' own. My sister and I took my brother's little truck to Lowe's to get the doors. Just for the record, and in case my brother ever reads this blog, I don't think his truck is bad at all. It just seems to be a little temperamental. On the way to Lowe's we would cruise downhill about 65mph, floor the gas pedal going up the next hill, and still be doing around 55mph when we reached the top. Not a problem.
We get to Lowe's, get out of the truck and my sister says, "Do we need to lock it?" Thinking my brother would be upset if we left his little work truck unlocked I said "Of course." So we locked the doors. Walking into the building I asked my sister "This key will unlock the door and crank the truck too, won't it?" Her answer was "I guess it will. I don't know, he didn't tell me." So we go on in, pick out doors, make half a dozen calls to my brother to ask questions, pay for them and then go out to load them on the truck.
I go to get the truck to pull it around and the key won't unlock the driver's side door. I can't write what words ran through my mind at that moment but I knew we had screwed up. I went to the passenger side in hopes it might unlock that one. It didn't. So I went back to the driver's side just in case I didn't turn it far enough. Still didn't work. I called my brother to ask him if the key opened the doors (dumb question - I already knew the answer) and he said "Don't ever lock the doors." I told him we would figure something out. During this whole time I'm running around the truck, my sister is standing near the store, talking to the man who was going to load my doors, unaware of our predicament. I saw that the sliding back window wasn't locked so I climbed into the back of the truck to see if I could get in that way to reach up and unlock the door. I didn't have anything thin enough to stick in the crack. So here I am, sitting on a cooler in the back of the truck, digging through my purse for a nail file, trying to get my sister's attention. She finally realized I was having issues and came over. We had apparently attracted some other attention and a very nice man and his little boy stopped and asked if we needed help. (Way better than the first guy who walked by me and said "Having a bad run of luck today?")
Being the good-ol'-boy he was, this nice man pulled his knife out of his belt, climbed up into the truck and opened the window for me and unlocked the door. We were saved.
The trip home was another story. We now had heavy doors on the truck so we needed to get up more speed to make it up a hill. The wonderful lady in front of us all the way home went 55mph. There was no way to get up speed before starting up a hill. 55mph, accelerator to the floor, by the time we got to the top of a hill, we were going 40mph. We finally made it home but it was a very long trip. Thank goodness we both have a sense of humor.
The trip to pick up the doors is a story all its' own. My sister and I took my brother's little truck to Lowe's to get the doors. Just for the record, and in case my brother ever reads this blog, I don't think his truck is bad at all. It just seems to be a little temperamental. On the way to Lowe's we would cruise downhill about 65mph, floor the gas pedal going up the next hill, and still be doing around 55mph when we reached the top. Not a problem.
We get to Lowe's, get out of the truck and my sister says, "Do we need to lock it?" Thinking my brother would be upset if we left his little work truck unlocked I said "Of course." So we locked the doors. Walking into the building I asked my sister "This key will unlock the door and crank the truck too, won't it?" Her answer was "I guess it will. I don't know, he didn't tell me." So we go on in, pick out doors, make half a dozen calls to my brother to ask questions, pay for them and then go out to load them on the truck.
I go to get the truck to pull it around and the key won't unlock the driver's side door. I can't write what words ran through my mind at that moment but I knew we had screwed up. I went to the passenger side in hopes it might unlock that one. It didn't. So I went back to the driver's side just in case I didn't turn it far enough. Still didn't work. I called my brother to ask him if the key opened the doors (dumb question - I already knew the answer) and he said "Don't ever lock the doors." I told him we would figure something out. During this whole time I'm running around the truck, my sister is standing near the store, talking to the man who was going to load my doors, unaware of our predicament. I saw that the sliding back window wasn't locked so I climbed into the back of the truck to see if I could get in that way to reach up and unlock the door. I didn't have anything thin enough to stick in the crack. So here I am, sitting on a cooler in the back of the truck, digging through my purse for a nail file, trying to get my sister's attention. She finally realized I was having issues and came over. We had apparently attracted some other attention and a very nice man and his little boy stopped and asked if we needed help. (Way better than the first guy who walked by me and said "Having a bad run of luck today?")
Being the good-ol'-boy he was, this nice man pulled his knife out of his belt, climbed up into the truck and opened the window for me and unlocked the door. We were saved.
The trip home was another story. We now had heavy doors on the truck so we needed to get up more speed to make it up a hill. The wonderful lady in front of us all the way home went 55mph. There was no way to get up speed before starting up a hill. 55mph, accelerator to the floor, by the time we got to the top of a hill, we were going 40mph. We finally made it home but it was a very long trip. Thank goodness we both have a sense of humor.
Adventures in Travel
Last week was dreadful and I've never been so glad to see a week be over in my life. The best part of the week was my sister and brother-in-law getting here from Texas. That should be all of the story but nope - it's not. Since life is always an adventure for me and those around me they had one. About an hour from my house a deer ran out in front of their motor home. It didn't end well for the deer, although we can't be sure because my BIL never found it. It didn't exactly end well for the motor home either. The front of it suffered some damage (a lot) and it wouldn't crank. They were finally able to arrange to get it towed to my house and finish their trip. You know, someone asked me if their motor home was like Cousin Eddie's on Christmas Vacation and I told them "No, it's a nice one." I may have to change that opinion. A new battery got it running again without a problem. But in order to drive it back to Texas, they are going to have to secure the loose parts on the front end. What would be the tool of choice for any red-blooded, American male to do this? Duct tape!! I can hardly wait to see this after they get it fixed. I've got to take a picture and try to figure out how to post it here.
Things have settled down some for them since they got here though - if you don't count not having water or heat the first morning they woke up. Or not having water the second morning they woke up. Or running out of propane. Just little things like that. We figure by the time they get it all straightened out, it will be time for them to leave - much to my BIL's relief, I'm sure.
Things have settled down some for them since they got here though - if you don't count not having water or heat the first morning they woke up. Or not having water the second morning they woke up. Or running out of propane. Just little things like that. We figure by the time they get it all straightened out, it will be time for them to leave - much to my BIL's relief, I'm sure.
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